Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. | Genesis 2:24-25
The first time we hear the term ONE FLESH is in Genesis 2:24 (above). This verse comes after God creates everything in the world and calls it good. There is just one thing that is NOT GOOD: that the man shall be alone. This is not just because Adam is lonely, but because he is unable to complete the work that God has given him to do. In Genesis 1, we see God give a command to human beings:
Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it
Obviously, Adam could not be fruitful and produce children without a wife. We also see in Genesis 2 that he could not do the work of caring for God’s creation – subduing the world – without a helper. The helper that God creates for Adam comes from him. God puts him into a sleep and takes out his rib and uses it to make a woman. The way that this is described is meant to show us that the two FIT. That is even how God describes it: I will make a helper FIT for him.
When God presents Eve to Adam, he can’t help but break out into poetry:
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.” | Genesis 2:23
Adam can’t help but be excited with what God has created for him. Women are beautiful; they were created to be beautiful. They were also provided to men to help accomplish the task that God has given to humanity. As Adam makes clear in his poem: she was taken out of man. This does not mean she is less than or lower, but that she is an extension of him. Women and men are connected on a deep level.
It is at this point in the creation narrative that we read the verse at the top. The two are made one. They are fit together, both relationally, but also so that they can complete the mandate that God created for them.
In Genesis 2, just after the it tells us that the two shall become one flesh, it says:
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. | Genesis 2:25
Which means that when God created Eve and united her to Adam, they were completely open with one another. They were seen fully. This is what it means by naked; it is not just about clothing, but all of the barriers that we put up to keep from being known. In the beginning none of them were there. None of them needed to be there, because Adam and Eve had nothing to hide. They trusted one another completely and were without shame.
This did not last long. As they sin and sin enters into the world, everything is polluted; this includes the relationship between husband and wife. As soon as they sin, we see them feel shame about being naked and they cover themselves. Now they have something to hide. Along with this, part of the curse that God proclaims on them is:
Your desire shall be for your husband, but he shall rule over you.
There is debate about what this means exactly, but it is clear that there is now conflict between husband and wife. To trust one and be vulnerable with one another will no longer be the default. Sin and shame will stand between them and unity will need to be worked for.
Much like the curse of pain in childbearing does not mean women should stop having babies, and the ground producing thorns doesn’t mean men should stop cultivating. The stain of sin working against the one flesh does not mean that we should accept separation. Even more, we must not feed this separation by lying and keeping secrets. Husbands and wives should be honest with one another, sharing all aspects of life. This vulnerability is also a protection for our marriages, as it keeps us from the temptations that meet us when we isolate ourselves and operate in the shadows. God unites them in one flesh to help one another pursue holiness.
The person that you are married to should be your greatest support in pursuing the righteousness of God. One of the greatest threats to us in this pursuit and one of the biggest destroyers of marriages is: sexual immorality.