But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me. | 2 Samuel 12:23
Before I was a pastor, there were questions that I was never asked, or could punt on when discussed. One of the unique aspects of being a pastor is that certain questions have to be addressed, because of the emotional weight they carry. Since many have experienced miscarriages or been acquainted with the death of a baby, their peace requires an answer to the title of this blog.
While a pastor should aim to bring comfort, it is also important not to go beyond what the Bible says. The Bible does not give us a direct answer to this question. I bring this up because I have heard a few theologians use the verse above to justify the position: all babies (and children below some age of accountability) go to heaven. The argument is that David saying, ‘I shall go to him,’ implies not only a belief in the afterlife, but that his child will be in heaven where David is going. This is a bit of a stretch, not only to argue that this is what David means, but also that he has a view of heaven that is this comprehensive. More likely, David is commenting on the fact that he can go to his child’s dead body, or to his grave, but he cannot do anything to restore his child to life (which also fits with the tone of the section).
Does this leave us without any comfort? Of course not, but it does make the answer a bit more complicated. It means that our peace can’t be attained apart from God. It is in knowing Him that we find hope in life beyond this world. My guidance to people in this, and other painful situations, is to rest in the character of God. Lean on what you know about Him to carry you through. In relation to salvation we know:
He is beyond us | it is important for us to remember that God’s plans and purposes are beyond us. While He reveals a portion to us, there is much that we are lacking to make sense of why He does what He does. Isaiah puts it this way:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. | Isaiah 55:8–9
The first thing that we must do when trying to answer this question is admit that even if we got a direct answer, we would not have the context to put it into. This is why we must have faith to trust Him in the things we don’t understand. We do not do this blindly, but because of what we know about Him, namely:
He is just | God’s justice is usually connected to punishment and wrath, but it also means that he is fair. We can accept His decisions because they will always be perfect. Moses declares it this way:
“The Rock, his work is perfect,
for all his ways are justice.
A God of faithfulness and without iniquity,
just and upright is he. | Deuteronomy 32:4
This brings a wonderful sense of comfort, because it means that God only ever does what is right. I can trust what He does because He never does anything that is not perfectly just.
He is gracious | The only things that God does that are not ‘fair’ are for our benefit. God works to overcome our shortcomings. This becomes important, not only for salvation in general, but in the case of babies not having the capacity for ‘belief.’ There are no outward signs to justify faith in a baby, so we rely entirely on God’s mercy. In truth, we are always dependent on His grace, but this is a case where it is ALL we have. This presses us into deeper reliance on Him, which is what He desires from us. He has done the work so that we can find our confidence in Him. Hebrews puts it this way:
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. [16] Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. | Hebrews 4:15–16
We trust in His grace in every situation and this grace becomes what draws us to Him.
He is good | in some ways this is a repeat of the previous: if God is just and gracious, then He is also good. It is important that we know that God’s justice and mercy is purposed for the goodness of His creation. He is unfolding His plan, but His plan is for the goodness of all. David puts it this way:
The LORD is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The LORD is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made. | Psalm 145:8–9
While not everything is good all of the time, we know that everything that comes from God is good and that he is aiming towards a good end.
He is sovereign | God’s aims are secure, because He is able to bring all things to pass. He knows exactly what it takes to work all things together for good and He is actively making this happen. Nothing is ever outside of His control and every detail (down to the number of hairs on our heads) is being overseen by Him. Paul describes this in Colossians 1:
For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together (16-17).
God is the one who is in control of all things.
If put this all together: God is actively working all together for good; He is doing this in a just way filled with His grace and mercy, in a manner that we cannot comprehend. All of this goes beyond this world to the next. As Jonah declared from the belly of the fish: Salvation belongs to the LORD! (Jonah 2:9). Rather than getting an answer that allows us to sidestep God, the Bible tells us that all who pass from this life are in the hands of a loving Creator. We can trust Him (more than we can trust ourselves) to do what is right and good. We rest in God’s character rather than our ability to make sense of how situations work out. If we trust God, it takes away all fear, even in the situations that are traumatic and painful. These things are not outside of the power and love of God.