Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good | Titus 2:2–4
As we opened up Proverbs a few weeks ago, the focus was on a father passing on wisdom to his son. A few weeks before that, we were in a sermon series on Titus, where we saw the dynamic of older men and older women being examples to their younger counterparts. The Biblical call is for those who are older to impart wisdom – in word and deed – to those who come after them.
The reasoning behind this is: those who have already learned from their mistakes, and have matured through experience, can help those behind them avoid the same painful path. It is more than that. Without some sort of framework to operate in, every generation ends us spinning its wheels. The young need the older to provide guidance on what it means to flourish. When that is not provided, they end up having to create it for themselves (a lot of damage is caused in the process). I thought that this was well laid out in an article by Jared Wilson, titled: This Theological Orphaned Generation, in which he points out that a generation of church leaders refused to pass on the age-old wisdom, creating churches filled with theological orphans:
The younger generation now is basically a bunch of theological orphans. They are the latest theologically orphaned generation. Why? Because their church leaders have effectively abandoned them—we’ve left them to figure out discipleship by themselves, to figure out church growth by themselves, to figure out the application of biblical Christianity in general by themselves.
Instead of training young people in godliness, many were given a pragmatic toolbag. With this, they were given an example that was willing to ‘change with the times.’ This change often went against what they taught, leaving many frustrated and confused. Wilson says:
We’ve been abandoned by our teachers. Our guides have left us without fathers. The men and women we looked up to have gone against everything they told us to believe in. We wonder if they ever really believed it themselves.
Human beings need a purpose and a goal, and that is something that is built into our social fabric and gifted to each succeeding generation. As GK Chesterton put it:
Tradition means giving a vote to most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead.”
Tradition and social imagination are not just something that should be told to people – in a list or set of rules – they need to be embodied. Along with carrying forward what had been invested in them, the mature are supposed to live out these virtues to give those following a practical vision for how to live principled life. Without those who are willing to embrace this and live with purpose, the young will be left to figure it out on their own.
I was reminded of this idea as I read a fascinating piece in the Washington Post, titled: Men are lost. Here’s a map out of the wilderness. In it, author Christine Emba lays out a description of why so many men are struggling to find their place in modern society. There is a lot to chew on here, but her solution points us in the same direction:
it’s about relationships and finding older men who, you know — they’re not flashy, they’re not ‘important,’ necessarily, but they actually are living virtuous lives as men. And then being able to then learn from them….
the change will need to come from the bottom up — from everyday men who notice the crisis of identity hitting their younger counterparts and can put themselves forward to help. “Ninety percent of this, if not 95, is on us, is on older men, is on society. To realize this is a problem that warrants investment and attention. And it’s on young men themselves to take responsibility and embrace masculinity and redefine it.
This article is specifically about men, but the same principle applies to the Christian life. What our society needs more than anything else is people who are willing to live out God’s wisdom in all of its monotonous beauty. Men and women who are able to get up each morning with the goal of bringing glory to God and teaching others to do the same. I can point to a number of people who lived this way and provided me with a practical example of what it looks like to love God and love others. It makes it much easier for me to sacrifice for God’s good, because I have seen the good that it produces directly. I also had a father who modeled love in such a way that the concept of God as father is positive. I am not telling you this to brag, but to point out that we can be the same encouragement and example that others have been for us.
Live your life as an example. Be aware of those who need a mentor or help finding their way. Step into the void that sin and absentee parents have caused for so many. Do this, knowing that it is both a benefit to society and to the kingdom of God. This is how the world is changed; and we have been invited to be part of it.